


Stupid Love

by messofthejess



Series: Jess's Carry On Countdown 2020 [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Based on a Lady Gaga Song, Dancing, Dancing as therapy, M/M, Post-Book 1: Carry On, Post-Canon, Songfic, Two Idiots Dancing Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28165389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messofthejess/pseuds/messofthejess
Summary: Simon needs to get off the sofa. So he dances. And he gets Baz to join in the fun.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Jess's Carry On Countdown 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034865
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Stupid Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KrisRix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrisRix/gifts).



> I haven't written a songfic in years, my god. It's good to do! 
> 
> This is inspired by KrisRix and his SnowBaz edit he did for this song approximately 84 million years ago (aka early March 2020). Since I watched it, and since I first heard "Stupid Love", my brain has not known peace. 
> 
> Written for Day 24 of the 2020 Carry On Countdown: "Song". Raw and un-beta'd.

**Simon**

My therapist told me I need to get up off the sofa a bit more. Dr. Cole said she gets the sense that I’m a very physical person (probably because of all the stories I’ve told her about missions and sword-fighting – it’s not like I’m up and walking around during our sessions) and that I need to lean into that. _When your body stagnates, your mind does the same, even if it feels like it’s racing,_ is what she said the first time the topic came up.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” I asked her. It’s not like I have monsters to go out and battle. If anything, all the monsters I have to fight are in my head these days.

“You can try simple exercises at your flat. Might be a bit much if you thrust yourself into a gym situation right out the gate.”

I didn’t bother reminding her that having wings makes me a liability in public as it is, and I’d hate to think what might happen in a gym full of Normals.

“I s’pose I could get a meter stick and practice my forms…” I trailed off, realizing that I don’t have a reason to practice my forms anymore, or to hold a sword again, for that matter.

“Let’s think of other physical activities that aren’t as combative, but still get you up and moving.”

She suggested yoga, which made me burst out laughing. Baz does yoga once a week between his classes, and sometimes he comes home wearing his leggings and his hair twisted up in a top knot. He’s posh enough for yoga, not me. Swimming needs a pool. Regular floor exercises would get boring after a while.

“Have you ever tried dancing?”

I blinked at the screen. “You must be joking. I have two left feet!”

“You’re not stepping on anyone’s toes but your own. No routines, no funky dancewear – unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

“I don’t think anyone needs to see me in leg warmers.”

We joked around for a while after that, but Dr. Cole was serious about the dancing. _Just move however the beat takes you_ , she said before signing off.

This still seems like a ridiculous idea. I’ve pulled on my most comfortable joggers, pushed the kitchen table and chair off to one side, and rolled my shoulders so many times I think my arms might pop out of their sockets. Penny has a Spotify playlist called _endorphin rush_ that I follow, which feels just as good a place to start as any for music that might move me.

I sync my mobile up with the big Bluetooth speaker Penny has sitting in the kitchen, take a deep breath, and hit the play button.

_We’ll be singin’, when we’re winnin’! We’ll be singin’—_

“Like hell we will be,” I mutter, skipping to the next song.

_Ev’rybody’s doin’ a brand-new dance now—_

“I don’t even know how to do any old dances.” Next!

Too slow, too fast, too indie, too weird. For a playlist that I guess is supposed to make Penny feel good, it kinda goes all over the place. I click skip one more time, and a sledgehammering beat blares through the speaker so fiercely I think it might break.

_You’re the one that I’ve been waiting for! Gotta quit this cryin’, nobody’s gonna – heal me – if I – don’t open the door!_

I have absolutely no clue how to dance. Not like anyone went out of their way to teach us in the homes, and Watford didn’t have mandatory dance lessons, thank magic. The first time I ever danced in public was with Baz at the Leavers’ Ball. I don’t know how to move myself in a way that’s musical, I guess.

So instead, I follow what the lady tells me to do: I wave my arms, kick my legs, and freak out.

_Look at me no-ow-ow, ‘cause all I ever wanted was love. Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh! All I ever wanted was love…_

I slow down a bit, roll my shoulders like I do when I’ve slept wrong and need to loosen up. Am I moving with the beat? Does it matter?

_Higher, higher! I want your stupid love!_

I think the door to the flat opens in, but the beat drops so hard that I can barely hear myself think.

**Baz**

Simon is _dancing_. I think. He’s doing something that vaguely resembles dancing, in time with one of the most obnoxious electronic sounds I’ve ever heard.

“What the hell are you listening to?” I yell as I set my bag down by the door.

Simon shrugs at me and goes right back to flailing about where the kitchen table used to be. He tries for a pirouette, but his wings overcorrect his balance and he steps out on both feet. Then he tries doing some kind of shimmy with his hips that makes me avert my eyes.

This is the most I’ve seen him move in months. Some days I’m not sure if he even blinks when he lies there, trying to meld into the sofa cushions. I haven’t the faintest idea what’s possessed him today, though I can’t say I object to the idea of a more active Simon.

“Join me!” he calls over the music, which is nearly deafening even for a vampire like me.

“Absolutely not.”

“Afraid you’ll look daft?”

“Why would I bother with that when you’re doing such a good job of that already?”

Simon rolls his eyes with a huff and reaches for his mobile on the kitchen counter. The music dies, and along with it the shine in his eyes fades out.

“I was trying something new. My therapist, she…yeah.”

“She told you to take up raving?”

“She told me to find something that helps me get moving is all.” He frowns, and I have the urge to kiss the corners of his mouth back into a smile. “I know it’s silly, but I wanted something with no pressure involved, and—”

“It’s perfect.” I take a few steps toward him and cover his hand laying on the counter with my own. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called what you were doing daft. It’s nice to see you up and moving about.” He blushes at that, which is endlessly charming. “Besides, you’ve got a better handle on how to dance to this music than I ever would have.”

“’M not so sure that there’s any one way to dance to, uh,” Simon checks the screen of his mobile, “…Lady Gaga. I think you just move however.”

“I see.”

“You wanna move however with me?”

“I don’t really ‘move however’.”

“ _Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaz_ ,” Simon drags out my name, and I already know I’ve lost. “C’mon, seriously. I’ve only been at it for a couple minutes, and I feel loads better. Lighter than I have in ages.” He flaps his wings emphatically, threading his fingers through mine. “Please?”

I make a big show of rolling my eyes. “Only because you asked so nicely.”

His stubby-toothed grin means everything to me as he scoops up his mobile and leads me further into the kitchen. I’m about to crack a joke about needing to stay in dance hold when he pushes play and my eardrums nearly explode out of my head.

_Now it’s time to free me from the shame. I gotta find that peace, is it too late?_

_Or could this love protect me from the pain?_

_I would battle for you, even if I break in two!_

I don’t think Simon is really listening to the lyrics as we spin around together. If he was, he’d probably pick up on how they seem awfully pertinent to us, particularly the part about battling for one another.

I don’t know that I can love him enough to protect him from any pain – lately it seems like loving him at all causes him pain. But right now, in this moment, I think both of us are feeling lighter than we have been in a long time. Stupid and in love.

**Author's Note:**

> The other songs mentioned in this fic using their opening lyrics are "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba and "The Loco-Motion" by Grand Funk Railroad. Incidentally, both of those songs and "Stupid Love" are on the real endorphin rush playlist that I made for myself on Spotify. It's the playlist that's truly powered me through this godforsaken year. 
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at messofthejess. Don't be afraid to say hi.


End file.
